Year-end Wrap-up

Per my tradition that I started a few years ago, I have constructed my Painting Quilt for 2014. This is simply creating a big square space and plugging in all the paintings from the year into one spot. It's a nice way to see what I have completed in a year's time, not to mention to be able to see some growth.

It might look like a lot to some, but I fear it's actually far below what I had hoped for this year. Oh, and I realize it's got this one in it that I forgot to mention that I finally finished by request right before Christmas:

Eye Spy, 9x12 chalk pastel on pastel paper. Original sold, prints available.

This and the little dwarf with the spoons represents my experimentation with chalk pastels. Chalk was something I did a lot with in high school, but not professionally. I'm not sure where I'm going to go with this medium, or if I'm going to abandon it. I imagine I'll work a bit more with it here and there, likely for the auction groups I work with on Facebook now and again.

Looking at my quilt, I can honestly say that I didn't complete anywhere near what I had set out to do. I looked up my post for last year and my big plan was to work on more large and in-depth paintings. I had such plans! ARGH! Instead, while I did finish the Queen of Hearts, as far as any large and in-depth paintings... I didn't do anything else. I'm pretty disappointed in myself on that level.

However, what I do see in my quilt, beyond experimenting with pastels, is a foray into digital art (bottom left corner) that I had been tiptoeing around for a long time. I had been thinking a lot about buying a real tablet (like a Cintiq) and trying my hand at digital art. To test out how I would do with that, I bought myself a Waccom pen for my ipad and the Art Studio app, which works a lot like photoshop. Those digital paintings resulted in a few that I really ended up loving like this one:

"Star Gazing" prints available

But I also realized that dropping major money on a high end tablet for digital art just isn't for me. I know that digital art always looks crisper on merchandise, and I'll probably create a few a year just for fun (and probably all having a bunny, rabbit, or bumblebee in them), but that I don't need to invest money in a big-time piece of equipment. The main reason is that I'm simply an artist who likes to get her hands dirty.

I like being able to see what I can create digitally, but I'm not drawn to it like I am a rack of paint on the wall and a stack of canvases. There's something about having the actual material beneath my fingers that I just need. So, I'll create my silly and fun digital work here and there (especially if I'm traveling or stuck somewhere), but my main focus will still be traditional work. I think realizing that about the digital artwork was a big accomplishment for 2014. It ticked one of those major questions off my artist bucket-list.

What I also see is a resurgence in my surreal side. I initially started professionally selling as a surreal and abstract artist, and then I kind of abandoned it for the fairy tale work. I realized a while ago that I need both, and I have begun to embrace that whole-heartedly. One of my very favorite paintings from 2014 is this one:

"Sail Away" 8x10 acrylic on canvas (original and prints available)

I had long been dreaming about a figure series where the character brings night with her. Honestly, I think I have been dreaming about this series since I was in high school. Finally, it just bubbled to the surface for a prompt, and I've completed two this year (the other being the black and white "Forward" painting.) Those two are the tiniest tip of the iceberg for me, and there will be many (MANY) more coming.

Looking forward to 2015 I see (and hope and plan):

• The Nyx series (night bringer) in both acrylic and oils
• Finishing out Alice if I can, I've been commissioned do many more paintings including the White Queen and Queen Alice which I am already started on and will be sharing that shortly. These are exclusively acrylic
• Red Riding Hood (and possibly others), and a return to oils
• A few more minis here and there because they're fun, in acrylic, watercolor, and possibly oils - but trying to not get sucked into them and have them take away from the larger pieces
• An Alice in Wonderland Calendar, and possibly a surreal one for 2016
• Creating a yearly Christmas painting that I offer as Christmas cards, as I did this year

I think if by the time I am putting together next year's quilt, I have less work but more in-depth pieces, I will be satisfied with that. So, here's to a very illuminating 2014, and I hope a more satisfying 2015!

Stasis

You'll be happy to know that the only person who got a stomach ache from my husband deciding to eat three-week-old-leftovers was me. I don't understand why men could eat the bark off a tree, lick a poison frog, and then roll in a barn without even causing the slightest quiver in their stomachs while the mere suggestion of any of those things turns me a quite unbecoming shade of green. While we're on the topic of men, I also don't understand why men can just consider losing weight and drop five pounds instantly while the same result requires a month of serious effort on my part. Just makes me want to slap the lot of you men. Love you, and all, but slap you just the same. *wink*

My ankle is still sprained, and my doctor floated the possibility that I actually fractured it, but since I was doing better I got to put off x-rays unless I fail to make reasonable progress. It's almost been a month (well, maybe just over three weeks, but it feels like a month) and I'm fair to going stir crazy not being able to go running as I normally do (and eating far too much, hence the five pounds commentary earlier.) I have been working, however.

I finished up a couple more pieces for the very shortly upcoming issue of Thrice Fiction Magazine (it's a free read digitally.) I wasn't able to participate in the last issue because I was overbooked with work, but I'm glad they gave me another shout this issue. As it involved snow, and we got a surprise four inches of the stuff after a lovely 80 degree day before that, it all sort of fit. I had a lot of fun changing how I do falling snow as well. I have done dots with the brush and a few other methods, but I think my favored one now is loading the brush with slightly watered down white, holding it about 6 inches from the surface, and then finger-flicking the brush with my other hand.

The first painting with the window is all flicked snow/stars, the cup is masking and flicking when I was undecided. Flicking it is, from here on out!

"The Window" 9x9 inches, watercolor and acrylic on 140lbs hot-pressed professional watercolor paper. Iridescent paint on moon and mirror/window frame. Available for purchase

"Fill It Up" 5x6 watercolor & acrylic on 140lbs hot-pressed professional watercolor paper.  Available for purchase.

Once I got those pieces done for the magazine, I needed to transition back over to my Alice painting (which is taking forever, and is entirely my own fault.) So, I did a quick (mostly quick) girl, another one for the "emotions" online open auction on facebook.

"Blue" 5x7 inches, watercolor & acrylic.Will be up for auction on Monday on Facebook at The Rabbit Hole Artist Collective

I was going with just black hair, but then it simply wasn't enough. So, I amped it up with blue and aqua highlights in iridescent paint, and it still wasn't enough. Finally I added the tattoos, and I liked it much better. One thing I really don't like about watercolors is that the skin features really wash out in a photograph. In person, it's a lot smoother and more even. The camera often picks up areas the eye simply doesn't see in reality and misses others. It's been very frustrating. At least it doesn't do that with acrylics and oils!

I haven't made much progress on my restructuring because we're still flailing about in the wind over whether we're moving or not. We've said yes to the offer, and yet it's been six weeks without any solid movement. I'm completely paralyzed personally and professionally, and that's been very difficult to work with. There has been some hope that we'll hear something on Monday, so I'm crossing my fingers. I can't exist in this stasis any longer.

I'm going to be focusing on my Queen, and trying to think about what my options are if I continue to be stuck. Making my current painting my priority will help, I hope!

Head Case

OK, I'm doing poorly with updating here. To be honest, I actually have another blog where I blather on about my life and whatnot (but tend to hide any art discussion from), and I often forget to come here and talk some more. I've been bad about my instagram account too. It's funny how often time feels like it's crawling by, but in other respects it just seems to fly (like between haircuts, that time goes by so fast! Yet, eating super-clean and strict for a day? Every day is three days, at least. Maybe nine. Or a year.)

Things have been crazy for me here. My daughter had an accident where my daughter was doing a stunt with her fellow cheerleaders at a game. It went wrong and she ended up falling off the mat and cracking her head against the hard floor at the same time as another cheerleader fell on top of her head. (So, floor, head, someone's back - stacked like that.) I was not there and didn't witness it, but the information I have is that the coach didn't think much of it and my daughter went back out for a few more stunts and cheers before my she felt so ill she needed to sit down. A trainer for the basketball team had seen everything and evaluated her as having a mild concussion and told her to sit out.

When my daughter arrived home, she seemed OK, just tired and kind of nauseous. So, she went to bed. I woke her up at school time and she had a headache and didn't want to go. I let her sleep and worked a bit. I should explain that as soccer coaches, my husband and I are pretty familiar with concussions (and this child has had a few mild ones.) I finished this painting in the meantime:

The prompt was Marie Antoinette, and it will be up for open auction in a couple weeks on Facebook.

...and then I went and woke my daughter up. It was 11 AM by then, and I decided to make her get up so I could evaluate her. One look into her eyes and I saw that her pupils were not equal, with one twice the size as the other (not a totally blown pupil, but wrong nonetheless.) That was it for me. Her headache was worse, still sick to her stomach, and so on. So, off to the ER we went.

The good news is that she was OK. The CT scan was clear and there was no bleeding on her brain. The bad news was that she's going to be a "little off" for a while (slow, slightly confused, etc) and was not allowed to text, watch TV, or basically use her brain for a few days. In other words; the worst fate any teenager can possibly imagine. She was pretty bored and stalked me around the house to entertain her. This isn't conducive to getting work done, or calming my nerves as her whole personality was a bit off.

I cannot explain how creepy it is to have your child change on you. You realize that you can lose someone without physically losing them, if that makes any sense? It made me sick to my stomach with that feeling of wrongness, and I have to say that we're a week out and things are not all the way back to normal. She has only been back at school once, but at least her pupils look more normal (they're still slightly off, especially if she's tired.) The doctor says that if she still doesn't feel well by Monday, all bets are off and it's back to the ER for another CT.

These kids are going to be the death of me, I swear. Since they hit their teenage years, I haven't slept much. The anxiety and fear from this sort of thing does NOT help. It's hard to focus on anything. Even taking a bath feels selfish and stupid - you should shower, and be quick about it, because you need to fix this NOW! You are mom, and things aren't right, you are failing! Go fix it!

But I can't.

Horrible. I feel just horrible. I should add that this is just compounded with some big things that happened this past year with my children as well. The constant fear I've been living with on one level or another is just suffocating. I have a whole slew of paintings in my head for my more abstract side of the studio, but believe me when I tell you that they are seriously dark. I haven't decided whether to paint them or not. Side note: it's nice to be able to paint in my head, even if I'm not accomplishing much in reality.

I could blather on, but I realize that what I have to share I could actually make into another post! So, I shall! And that way my posts won't be two weeks between one another.

Switch

Unfortunately, I continued to stumble along while trying to get my painting groove back. I'm not sure if it was just the vacation that threw me, or a combination of things. I painted in a bit on my Alice piece, but then it all started going wrong. I had to step away.

Ugh!

I worked on my other new business that I am starting (I've gotten my LLC and I'm finalizing numbers and more paperwork) right now, and that really is a distracting thing. It's a huge amount of work, and it's stressful. It's possible that this is part of what's bothering me right now. It'll be so much better once it's finally rolling (and I'll announce to everyone once it is, and explain what it is then with the grand opening. No idea when that'll be just yet.)

I guess with two businesses, I kind of have business ADD and it's a major distraction when it comes to the easel. Still, I decided I must do something to spark the art again! I thought about my watercolors, and that was appealing. I pulled out all sorts of blocks in different sizes, and I figured at the very least I can do another little dragon hatchling!

Instead, I started in on the biggest watercolor I've done yet (18x12"), it seems I can't do anything the easy way. It's not all sketched out yet, but it's in progress!

A unicorn and fairy. Now, I'm just trying to figure out the scenery, and then it's on to painting! I feel pretty good about it so far. Hopefully, it'll spark the drive to paint like crazy again. I've been splitting my week with Mondays and Tuesdays dedicated to the new business, and the rest of the week dedicated to my studio business. Hopefully I fall into that swing of things again!

Art-Hooky

I admit, I've been having "art-problems" lately. My head just doesn't feel like it's in the game. Go figure!

I've been working diligently (well, maybe sporadically would be a better word) on my Cheshire Cat.

Add caption

This is where I last took a picture. Since then, I've finished his entire upper body and I've started in on the lower. The tail is finished, but I have to tell you there is only so long a person can paint a cat's butt before they need a break. A LONG break. 

*sigh*

I'm hoping to finish him today. I'm not sure why I'm so unenthused. I like him very much. I'm sorta not into being in my studio right now. I got all my large blocks of Fabriano and I really want to paint something on them, and I think that's part of the problem. I've been conflicted on whether my Alice series can include other mediums or not. I've painted everything thus far on canvas, so switching to watercolor would be quite the change. It might not look right for the series when I group images together for the calendar or card sets. 

Anyway, I'm spending a lot of time fighting myself. Then yesterday I got fed up and grabbed two little blocks and decided to play Art-Hooky:

I finished the girl late last night and got her all matted up and up for sale:

"Becca" 5x7 watercolor, matted to 8x10.

I like her, and the paint flows so much better on these new blocks! 

My goal is to finish up the baby dragon you can see up there, and also try to finish the Cheshire today. He NEEDS to be done. I NEED him to be done. I have a vacation coming up, and I hope it will help clear the cobwebs (or whatever else is rattling around up there) so I can get back on track and start knocking stuff out again!

Bunnies

Just a little furry fun on this holiday Sunday!

"Patches" 4x6 watercolor/acrylic on hot-pressed

If you celebrate the holiday, Happy Easter! If not, happy day-before-all-the-chocolate-bunnies-are-75%-off day!

A Big Reader

I just love books. If I'm not in the middle of a book, I feel off kilter. I probably read between three and six books a week (which really makes me wish I had a library that had any selection at all, rather than being the size of a public bathroom, but that's what you get for living in the country.) I have a kindle that I read all sorts of things on, but I admit to still loving the feel of a good, solid, heavy book. I especially love the old tomes that you simply never see anymore with their amazing bindings and covers that seem to be something of a lost art.

In the studio, I really wanted to do a full-size dragon, and a friend suggested one with multiple heads. However, I wanted to tackle a full grown dragon with just ONE head first, before I started complicating matters for myself. I didn't realize my dragon was going to be a book lover too, but as I worked through what I wanted him to be doing, I couldn't shake the books, and that resulted in this:

Before I layered in the background, I realized he wasn't quite fancy enough yet. So, I finished him off and then decided on a smokey rust background.

I should note that this is on the paper that ruined my elf painting. Since I figured out to treat the dragon scales as I did the peacock's feathers, I realized the rougher and absorbent surface might actually work to my advantage. Which is good, because losing a whole block of paper hurts my poor frugal heart just a bit! I am going to order the Fabriano for my fairy paintings, but until then, I still have this block staring at me. Mocking me.

I thought I'd be able to finish the dragon quickly, because the one in my previous painting snapped into place quickly once I figured out what I was doing. I realize now that the small amount of space it took up had something to do with the quick pace of painting, because a dragon that fits a 12 x 16" surface is not a wee small beastie!

Getting the face done helped. It's my connection point with a piece, the face. I know many artists put off the face until the end, but without the eyes to look into I feel a bit lost. I did have some help, a color consultant... but he's a bit of a diva:

Figuring out the armoring scales on the front of the dragon felt good too, once I hit on how I wanted them to look.

And then he was done:

"Lire" 12x16" acrylic watercolor on hot-pressed paper.

I have to tell you that I flat out LOVE him. And it is a him, as I think a female would have a more slender snout than this handsome fellow. The entire dragon is done in iridescent paints, and it shifts and glitters in the light like it's moving just a bit. Makes it tricky for a picture, but in person? I wasn't even sure I was going to put it up for sale because I like it so much (I did, but it was a close one.) Interestingly, I accidentally flipped it black and white when I was editing the print file, and it turns out those iridescent paints work beautifully for this purpose. You can see all the brushstrokes, and how detailed it actually is when turned like this. I liked it so much that I polished it up and released it as a print option as well:

"Lire" in black and white, print only.

I've managed to come to a resting, breathing point which is nice. I have been working hard, flat out, for several weeks now. More things are stirring too - I'm starting a new company! Art based, I just filed my LLC papers. I'm not losing my current one either, but it's something new. Something more, that I'll be excited to share more about when I can.

Busy busy busy! And now I'm taking stock of things. I know I need to run full tilt into Alice. Alice needs to be finished, as she's gone on far too long, and I'm not even sure I'm half way with her. I have the Cheshire Cat in progress, but there is much further to go. Red queen, Jabberwocky, Alice herself.  Yes, I believe an "Alice Binge" is on the horizon for me!

Easter is this weekend, and every year I have planned to do Ukrainian Easter eggs, and just never manage to get the kits together. This year, not only did I not manage to get the kits together, I didn't even pull out any of my silly Easter decor either. No eggs hanging on trees, nada. Some days, I have been working so hard that I am ashamed to admit that I have often forgotten all manner of basic human chores. *sigh*

But I'll leave you with a picture I took last year of myself, and the wishes for a happy weekend for you all - whether you celebrate the holiday or not!

My Precious

I finished one of my watercolors I had been working on, and I decided to call it "My Precious". This may, or may not have been influenced by the fact that I had Lord of the Rings going on in the background. *ahem*

"My Precious" 9x12 watercolor on paper

I really love how she turned out. I think she's my favorite so far!

I still have my elf with her fancy dress to finish and then I'll have two for the week! I think it's doable! And then, maybe, I'll give the kitchen table back to the family. Maybe.

Oh, Hello!

I missed video Monday, I know. Stuff was a'happenin'! Life sometimes gets in the way, or all over the place. One of those, or both. I'll have a video this coming Monday, and we'll just pretend this last one didn't happen!

I've been busy working on several projects, as well as playing with my Zazzle store (where I made a new banner and desperately tried to organize it... which isn't going well. I'll figure it out eventually), and more. Businessy type stuff. I did paint a few things though:

"Teremaire" 4x6" watercolor on paper.

I finished this little hatchling last night as the second in my 6-dragon-hatchling series. I really like him, and he's iridescent too (gold) and is so shiny in the right light!

I thought I had several Fabriano blocks, but I didn't. So, when the new blocks showed up, I decided to just outright play and see if the flow was any different (it's not, really - but the shedding is less, which I do like and the hot-pressed is smoother than the other hot-pressed):

"Blink" 5x7 watercolor on paper

And then I've been working on stuff for Thrice Magazine. I've finished two and I'm in the middle of a bigger one right now, but I'm almost done. But, here's one of the finished pieces:

"Juice" 5x5 acrylic on canvas panel.

Once I finish the bigger one for Thrice, then I'll be off and running with a couple other projects. I think I've decided to go with a girl (maybe a fairy, maybe just a girl) meeting a little dragon, but instead of using watercolors, I was thinking of switching it to canvas for this one. Hmmm. Not sure yet, but I want to get it done quickly, so either way will be a lot of work because it's going to be much bigger (16x20, if on canvas - or 12x16 on paper.) I also have Cheshire Cat plans, and I was uncertain whether to start him or this. My schedule is all messed up for this month, and I'm desperately trying to get it back on track!

Monday, Monday

Hello all! I've done another vlog for my Video Monday, and I've got a slew of stuff cookin' today!

First, let me clarify this after the video: you try to cover it with your thumb, and then whichever one shows the object covered when you close the other is the dominate eye.

Moving on, here is my finished Caterpillar painting:

"Cool Cat" 9x12" acrylic on stretched canvas

I like him! He's very laid back, something I'm not. I always wish that I could be more Zen about stuff, but I'm a lot more like the white rabbit than the caterpillar.

Today, minus working on the video and getting my caterpillar all squared away, I'm working on those watercolors I showed in the video. This is an earlier in progress sketch:

A friend mentioned she'd be interested in just a sketch some time, that she prefers the medium. I, once upon a time, was afraid of color and ONLY did black and white sketches (I clearly have gone whole hog on the color now, though. It's an addiction at this point. Color, and the shiny color. Shiny!) So, I'm contemplating making a nice sketch. You know, all back to my roots and all! I may try that a bit down the road when I don't have so many deadlines on me!

Have a fabulous Monday!

Long Day

After the positive response to my awkward video log yesterday, I have decided that I will keep on with Video Mondays. I seem to have a lot of kinks to iron out though (i.e. the first time I uploaded it there was no sound, the second time I just noticed it deleted all my titles, and I have NO idea why!) Hopefully it'll be less of a laundry list of art projects, and include more interesting stuff too. If only I could figure out what would be interesting. Ahem.

It also turns out that stuffing your house full of teens and almost teens isn't the best strategy to get your work done after all. Yesterday had me pulling out my hair all day long, not over the work lost, but the drama that ensued. Sometimes, being a parent is really, really hard.

So, while I didn't get much done, I did get the Ribbon girl finished:

"Ribbon" 9x12" Watercolor on Paper

All in all, I don't feel like it totally came together. It feels like an "almost" (which is why I'm putting it up for a lot less than I normally would.) I can't explain it, and I think it's likely one of those times when some ideas from one's head doesn't translate the way you want it to in reality. I almost wonder if this was an idea that I should have explored with digital painting. I may revisit that some day. Speaking of which, I had long lusted after the Cintiq 24, even though I've never even seen one in person, but I've decided it's likely not for me. There's something about a digital painting that feels as if it loses some of the special qualities that something from scratch carries.

I figured out that I must be a purist (snob? I don't want to be a snob, but I seem to have strong opinions on this.) I remember being at an art show, and one of the other artists had made all her paintings with a projector (projecting a picture onto the canvas, tracing the lines, then painting it in.) To me, this just felt like cheating. I think it went back to grade school when someone would draw something, and if they traced it through the paper, kids weren't impressed. Anyone could trace, so it wasn't very cool. But the kid who could draw something free hand? Now that was cool! I know a lot of skill still goes into filling in those painted traced lines, but there was still a level of resentment inside me about it. I could never let myself use a projector like that.

With the Cintiq, I'm not sure what makes me think a little less of the artwork effort, because it is freehand (well, you could cheat and bring in a photo and do all sorts of things, like reducing it to a line trace and such, but for the most part I look at it as a free hand device), but I think it's perhaps the ability to always "undo". It's not like a watercolor where if you accidentally blob black on the paper, you are absolutely out of luck. It's not even like the more forgiving oils and acrylics, because eventually you can totally ruin those too (believe me, I've done it more times than I can count!) In the end, you can undo and manipulate, where in the physical world you have a finite amount of chances to get it right.

So, maybe that's what has put me off taking my business in that direction just yet. Whatever the reason, I'm no longer trying to figure out how to get my hands on one so I can demo it. That's not to say that if I win lotto or something, that I wouldn't run out and get one right away. Because it'd be on the top of my list (maybe I'm just placating my pocket book rather than my artistic sensibilities, then? It's probably good I've never laid my hands on one and really experienced it. What if I really liked it? My bank account would be in the hospital!) But for now, I'm sticking to hard traditional. Just me, my pencil and paints, and nothing else.

Anyway, at least I got her, Ribbon, off my block and done. If I ever do have one of those Cintiqs, I'll try her out there. Some day.

Later in the evening when I was ready to fling myself out the window, I snuck off to my studio and laid in the sky on my Caterpillar:

I didn't get incredibly far, but at least I put paint to canvas on this guy - finally! I really want to finish him this week so I can get the Cheshire Cat started, as well as some dragons. I have my work schedule for February, and unfortunately I'm a bit behind! It's time to pick up the pace... if that's possible with the kids on break!

Hatchling

I hope you're having a nice Saturday!

I've been having a bit of a fight with my ribbon girl, simply because she just looks off to me. I know if her hair had been more normal, and less ribbon, I would be able to fix it. But given the direction I've gone with it, that's simply not possible. I'll finish her, but I am not thrilled.

Given that, in true artistic procrastination style I created this little one yesterday, and I simply love her:

"Bindy" 4x6" watercolor, $50

Isn't she cute? I've been meaning to do some dragons, and I finally just wanted to do a little baby one really quick. It seems, however, that "quick" is all day, not a couple of hours like I imagine. Some day I'm going to accept that I am just a slow painter. I envy those that can paint quickly with good results, but I just don't seem to work that way. It's disappointing, I must say... yet, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my vision or quality for time, either. Any time I have tried to go faster or cut corners, I have always been dissatisfied with the results. So, slow it is, because I would rather leave a wake of pieces I feel I did my best one, than ones that I went too fast on in order to make more.

Be Mine

I must admit, I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. It seems odd really, given that I'm such a freak about all the Autumn and other Winter holidays. It might be the fat babies flying around in diapers shooting people, or the overwhelming waves of pink, but I guess I'm a bit of a Valentine's Scrooge.

The one thing I've always enjoyed about Valentine's Day is drawing stuff. It seems like there is always something that can be drawn about it, and no one gives you grief for drawing hearts on everything. However, this year (like so many others) I just wasn't feeling it and so I didn't make anything prior to the day. However, today I set aside my current paintings and made this in honor (spite?) of the day:

"Valentine" 4x6" watercolor.

I just really liked the idea of the black swan (tall, dark, and handsome) meeting up tenderly with the white one for a little quiet moment in a still pond with flowers. My nod to the pepto-pink holiday is in the petals, as well as the heart shape echoed not only in the necks of the swans, but their reflection, their shadows, and upside down from the yellow spreading into the water and the light on the water. I snuck hearts in, without actually painting any.

If you're into the holiday, then Happy Valentine's Day to you. If you're not? All that candy will be on clearance in just a few hours! *wink*

Monday Blahs

So, we got a little snow with the storm, but nowhere near what we were supposed to. About four inches or so. Very disappointing. However, I did putter around and after thinking I would take the weekend off from the studio, I found myself arguing and asking why? It's funny when your fun-time activities are also your job, you can either end up playing all the time or working all the time (depending on how you look at it, or which part of the business you're working on!)

I decided to sketch out something fun for me:

I thought a fast watercolor (even if it is a 9x12, so it's clearly not going to be that fast) would be fun. Playtime.

I popped in the background, and got into a fight with the block and pooling issues (it buckled so bad, it actually popped the block in several places. I wasn't even using that much water.) I wasn't planning on salting it, but I felt the pigment might make more interesting gathered areas, so I ended up salting it in the end.

That was how far I got over the weekend, but come Monday morning I didn't want to just set it down. So, instead of starting in on my caterpillar, I worked on this some more. It was extremely slow going:

I need to fix her mouth, and her hair once I get it all filled in won't leave so much forehead exposed (she's all skull at this point and it bugs me!) and her dress will be black. I'm not sure if I like it. Her face got a bit muddy, and I'm not sure why that is. However, I feel like I have to finish her, even if I'm not thrilled. It's like going to a movie you don't like, I'm just not a walk-outer. Besides, I've turned others around before, so you never know! Anyway, with Monday being all "blah" and me in a bit of a funk, this did not help!

In other news, I wish I could have rainbow hair.

Also, this evening I went and played with my kids in the snow. Instead of snowmen, we built Jaws:

You can see the snow-swimmer behind her. He's not gonna make it, I can tell. And yes, he's already munching on someone...

We had a fabulous time, even though it was starting to rain and melt everything off. We ended the evening with a fire and s'mores. Not a bad way to end a Monday!

Not Subtle

"My Steed" 9x12,Acrylic Watercolor on hot-pressed watercolor paper

Well, I managed to finish my fairy today! I'm actually impressed, since school was called off last night in honor of the oncoming blizzard. With a house full of snow-day kids, I would have thought that finishing a piece was the last thing that would happen.

However, I woke up and immediately wanted to paint. So, I tied back my hair and just dug in. Still in my pajamas. Classy, I know. Apparently my painting was so boring, both my kids went back to bed (as they're 12 and 14, I figured they could entertain themselves and if they wanted a nap, so be it) and I had a quiet morning that ended in being productive after all!

I really like the way she turned out. I wanted an image like one you'd see with a girl and her horse, and so the peacock is my fairy's steed. I contemplated a harness or collar of some type for the peacock, but I preferred the idea that the peacock was free to roam, and just loved being with her instead.

On the paint side of things it has come to my attention, however, that I am not a "gentle painter" when it comes to watercolors. I realize that in the strictest terms, this isn't watercolor, but rather diluted acrylics applied like watercolors, but regardless, I seem to develop a heavy hand with the paint. I'm just... addicted to the "pop!" I need the drama, the contrast, the over the top colors! If a work I have before me doesn't have them, then it's just not finished.

I remember taking a watercolors class with my mom when I was about 10 years old, and the teacher trying to get it into my head that watercolors are a subtle art, a gentle art, a quiet art. It was all about the "suggestion" of shadows and curves and lines (and whatever else there was of the hokey philosophy she felt the need to impart on a 10 year old who just wanted to get on with painting the rose in the glass in front of her.)

I guess I just don't do "subtle". It just doesn't make me happy. It's not that there isn't a place for it, it's just that in my world if I can't make it practically glow in the dark, where's the fun in that?

If you're getting snowed in like me (although I hear the bulk will be missing us, we're just due to get up to 16 inches of snow), I hope you stay safe and warm! Hot chocolate, anyone?

Quick-quick

As I sat there Monday morning wanting to dig in on my peacock fairy, I found my ambivalence rising. I just couldn't do it. I knew the watercolors hadn't gone the way I wanted for the peacock on the little one, and that I was going to have to try the diluted acrylics instead, but I wanted a test-run. I was also feeling the pressure of my schedule a little bit, because it says "sketch out caterpillar" for Monday, too.

I huffed and puffed my way around the kitchen, but then I got down to work. I sketched out a super fast fairy on another 4x6 (same block), and then hit the acrylics. I tried out salt with them, because I didn't remember if diluted acrylics reacted the same way as traditional watercolors with salt:

I was really hoping it would dry with the swirls of color like that. It didn't though. I wonder how to do that... maybe play with some oil too? Has anyone ever tried that?

While I was waiting for the little one to dry, I pulled out my 9x12 stretched for my caterpillar and got to work. It evolved into something else than I had originally imagined:

The thing is, with watercolors you have to be very precise in your sketch, but with oils or acrylics, at least for me, it's about roughing it out and worrying about the detail when you get the paint on the canvas. So, it's a bit of a brain switch for me to look at the canvas sketch and see how much is missing, how much it makes it look like a cartoon. And... yuck.  He'll look better painted, his face less "smiley" because it's actual panels on his body (I had a reference caterpillar that I took some liberty with) and so on. I'm thinking puffs of smoke too, perhaps in the shape of a white rabbit, or a Mad Hatter's hat or something. I haven't decided yet.

I can't start painting on the Caterpillar until I finish my peacock fairy, though. With the techniques being backwards from one another, I'd probably short circuit my brain, and frankly it's pretty fragile anyway. *ahem*

I then went back to my little fairy and I managed to finish her today:

"Breeze" $50 4x6", acrylic watercolor on watercolor paper.

It was nice to start and finish a piece in the same day, I must say! Additionally, my goal was to make the acrylics work, to figure out the hair because it was giving me fits, and to see if I could in fact play with my iridescent acrylic paints in watercolor fashion! Turns out that I can:

See her hair light up and stuff? Gosh, I just love shiny things. Love, love lovelovelovelove them!

So, score for the hair, score for the iridescent paint, and mental note: take more time in between layers of paint for drying and making the fabric look more natural and highlights, n'stuff. In other words? Remember to chill out.

That's my goal for Tuesday. Deep breath, and chill out. Oh, and paint. Paint is definitely the goal!

Little Bits and Twists

As I was getting ready to layer in my background for my bigger fairy, I realized I was going to need projects to distract me while the paint was drying or I was going to start messing with it. I think this is one of the things I struggle with most with my art; knowing when to walk away. It's even more important in watercolor because it's just so unforgiving. So, I sketched out a little child fairy really quickly, in order to have something else to occupy my meddlesome hands during drying periods!

Simple enough, right? So then I got started with the backgrounds:

Working at the kitchen table, because I can't seem to contain myself to my studio. I apparently need every available surface in my house! Oh, I also found a tube of paint under my pillow last night as well. I think I leak art stuff everywhere I go!

I ended up masking and salting the peacock fairy one, which made the drying time stretch even further, so I started in on more with the child fairy. I felt like it was a good practice run, since I really don't want to mess this bigger one up. As I got going, I started having some problems. My paints just weren't going where I wanted them too, the paper was shedding a bit (which was very odd) and I realized I was having problems seeing what I was doing.

I finally realized that the last part was something I should do something about. I got my first pair of glasses last year, and I don't like them. Every time I have tried wearing them while painting, they make me a little motion sick. I don't know how people wear these things! Still, because I was painting at the table, that meant less back-n-forth, so it should cut down on the motion and glasses should actually, you know... help me see what I am painting.

So I put my glasses on. Under protest.

You know, you really can see those little details better with these suckers. Sigh.

Seeing clearly what I was trying to do only helped part of the problem. The rest was a materials issue. The paper was shedding fibers. It's the hot-pressed 100% rag (cotton), and I normally don't have a problem with it, even though I'm a horrible scrubber. More, the paint was just... absorbing, not moving, not looking the way it should. In the end, I was not thrilled with the flow and that just made my ambivalence even higher in regards to the bigger painting.

I chose to focus on completing the little one, and seeing if it was just me. I did finish it:

"Little Bit" 4x6, watercolor

However, while I like it, I feel the materials aren't going to work for my bigger fairy. I've decided, I think, to go with diluted acrylics for her instead, in the hopes she'll turn out the way I want. I've used them before, but the difference between them and watercolors is that they don't reactivate and absorb pretty much immediately. In other words, you have to be darn sure you are putting the paint where you want it to be because you have about .003 seconds before it's set, and you can't take it back regardless. The upside is that the colors are more... hmm... smooth, maybe is the word I am looking for? Vibrancy isn't a problem with watercolors or acrylics, but I just want this fairy to come out right, and I think the acrylics is likely the way to go.

Here's hoping!

Stress and Art

This past week was a very stressful one for me. It started out rough and it finished even harder. I thought it was bad up until Thursday when I got a call from my credit card saying someone was trying to access my information (not make fraud charges, but actually access my information with what the card company assumed is my social security number) and that they felt a case of identity theft was in progress. I spent the rest of the day running around and making phone calls and putting alerts on my credit and all that. Fun.

Then on Friday there were several more big things, and well... Blah! I hope a cruise shows up in my mailbox to make up for all of this! Or a winning lotto ticket! Of course, I'd actually have to make the effort to go out and play, so there's that.

Anyway, with life stress banging down my door and plenty of art stress to go around with the commissions hanging over my head, I did that rainbow picture and I enjoyed it so much that when everything blew up again on Friday, I put down my commission work and made another little one:

"Emmy" 4x6" Watercolor, exclusively in my Etsy Shop

A friend said her hair is like an Andees Mint. So now I'm craving those. Maybe I was when I painted her too?

Anyway, I'm so enjoying the watercolors that I plan on making a painting I had intended to be in acrylic, in watercolors instead. I'm looking forward to it... but I can't do it until I clear out the backlog of commissions I have. I decided I'm taking too many to get my normal work done right now too, so I set a new limit for myself, and I hope that will help me get focused back on my normal work. I haven't completed anything from my Alice series and here we are in the home stretch of January. Unacceptable! Plus I needed to paint one painting per month for a new calendar this year (which needs to be done by October, actually, so that breaks down to almost two paintings a month) and I haven't done either of those.

I think the biggest thing I put off or forgot to do (no, put off... if I'm being honest, I think it's put off) is to make my big goal of what do I want to have completed by December 31st 2013? And then broken that down into monthly increments, and possibly into weekly ones as each month hits in order to make it a weekly goal and move me forward in a way I SHOULD be moving. Willy-nilly leads to disorder and chaos, and while I love a little chaos, this isn't working.

So, today I'm working out what my end-game for this year should be and breaking it down from there! I've decided to do art shows again this year, which will be an older newer experience. It's been a while (several years.) I don't know if it's worth my time or not... but I'll never know if I' don't give it a go!

A Little Rainbow

I'm participating in an Art Swap, and while I was excited to do this, I found myself buried under life and commissions and well, let's face it - my Alice series hasn't moved in months now! I have a huge one planned and it's time to get that one sketched out too!

The problem with all that wonderful stuff going on (busy in the studio is always a good thing!) is that I don't get to play as much. I was casting about this morning, wishing I could play instead of work. Work was just getting muddy with the paint, it simply wasn't working. It was time to play. I remembered I was running out of time on the art swap, so I pulled out my watercolors and just had fun! This is the result:

"Rainbow" 4x6" watercolor

She's little. She's rainbow. And she is exactly what I wanted to do. I have mentioned in the past that figuring out skin tone with the watercolors has simply been addicting for me, because I love the way it makes the skin just glow! I've been dying to paint another face, and so... I did! And it made me happy!

A happy art day is always a good art day!

I plan on doing many more girls, as a sort of break between the more heavy duty paintings that I need to knock out. Not everything needs to be so serious and dedicated. It feels like a little mini-art-vacation, and one I desperately needed!

Winter Wishes

Tonight, I finished a mini-painting (while piles of cookies and remnants of wrapping paper lay all around me):

"Flurry" 4x6" watercolor, available for purchase on my main site.

I really love the snow queens lately, but even more than that I love the luminance that watercolors give to the "skin" of the people I paint. It's something I guess I never really paid attention to before. I remember watercoloring figures and faces about a decade ago (maybe a few here and there since, but mostly about 10 years ago) and I always felt like I was fighting the paper. I was always trying to add layers all over, the way one does with oils when building the skin. You under-paint, and build, and build, and that's how you create a depth and luminance with paint and canvas.

However, with watercolor? I finally - finally - got it. I stopped fighting it. I learned to let the light shine through it and I'm simply in LOVE with it. It's almost like capturing light with the slightest of cages of your paint, and shaping it into something else. I'm a hard contrast type of painter though, I can't live without the vibrancy that the colors bring, so when I get the chance to use color I go hard and heavy with it. The resulting contrast and "glow" is something I'm a wee bit obsessed with at the moment. I just love it... I sort of crave it, like I would a piece of chocolate cake. (I'm rather grateful for the calorie-free satisfaction of it all!)

I believe I'll not only be painting more snow queens, but more figures in general with my watercolors, as I work through this newest obsession. I'm working on a Santa that I started at the same time as my snow queen, but my hopes are dwindling that he'll turn out:

You can see my snow queen was in progress. They're smaller paintings, so I needed to be able to switch between the two to allow for drying time and making myself walk away from the paper!

My Santa just looks a bit... feminine. I paint women for the most part, so it's understandable I suppose. We'll see. I still have a ways to go, and there's always the chance it'll work out in the end!

I'm going to try to finish him, but I may walk away for a bit. I have a strong desire to paint some abstracts right now. I have one in progress, and another one on my mind. I've also been playing with the theme of angels. I plan on playing tomorrow by combining the two and seeing where it leads.

I recently was able to watch the whole documentary Who Does She Think She Is? I found it to be both inspiring and depressing at the same time. If you're a woman artist, I think it's worth the watch. I've been thinking a lot about it over the past few days, and I realized that the disconnect with my abstract side needs to be remedied. I've been starting to do so already, but I'm going to make a bigger effort to allow that to happen.

My best selling print, even to this day, is an abstract/surreal work that I painted many years ago:

"Tempest", 16x20, Oil

There is a reason for that, and I'm realizing where the connection is for me personally. It's not about selling, it's about feeling complete. My abstracts seem to be more steeped in emotion, and I miss painting that way. However, I also enjoy painting the ones I do now, like my Alice in Wonderland Series that I'm in the middle of, and others like the snow queens and fun holiday themed paintings. Just like with the watercolors and learning to embrace the light within them as well as applying my heavy hand with contrasting color, I realize that I crave the balance between my emotional abstracts with my story telling and playful paintings.

Balance.

I am both, and I'm going to allow for that to flourish! That is my gift this year to myself. I thought it was taking time off to just play in the studio, but really that was just my stocking stuffer. My real gift is allowing myself the room to learn how to embrace all of me as an artist, and it will likely be a lifelong endeavor!

On a side note, when my facebook art page is up to 300 likes, I'm going to give away a free 5x7 panel painting (or a watercolor if the winner so chooses). So stop by and say hello!