Matters of the Body

Today I bit the bullet and scheduled all the doctor exams I needed to. Apparently, from moving, all my appointments are condensed into one area of time. I used to have things spread out... eyes in May, girlie doctor in March, etc. Now? It's all at once! It's like a giant influx in my mailbox screaming "You're getting OLD! It's time to feel bad about yourself! Come on down, schedule an appointment!"

Ugh.

On the other hand, I'm kind of looking forward to my eye appointment. I used to have amazing eyesight. I mean, fighter pilot AMAZING type eyesight. Now? I have no idea where it went, but it's totally not fair. I'm having to hold books farther and farther away. The magnifying glasses I got for close-up work have become my go-to, even though they're stronger than what I need, because I need something.

I had an appointment last February, but they did a poor job of helping me. As my eyes have gotten worse over the last six months I've just been counting the days until I could get someone to help me (my eyes aren't equal, so those store reading glasses give me a headache.) I have a new office picked out and scheduled. YAY! There's nothing quite like being in a poor situation to make you look forward to a doctor's visit you would otherwise dread.

I hate to think what would have to happen to make me look forward to the gynecologist. Maybe I'll just embrace my dread of that and be grateful. This is, of course, hard to do. It's bad enough in a doctor's office when they weigh you, but getting to be naked too? Yeah. Joy.

Speaking of body, it seems like any complaint you could possibly have (minus maybe eye sight) it always goes back to "Well, lose weight." I have this list of things that I'm going to push on once I get the rest of the weight off and say "See, I did. Now this is still a mess, what can we do?" I mean, how many things are supposed to hurt, what's normal for being in your 40's anyway?

I need a manual. They should have a manual like they do for kids. The pediatrician used to hand you a sheet that said "Your child: 18-24 months" and it had all sorts of data, what's normal, what's not, etc. Why did they stop that? I need one.

In other news, I finished my first piece for 2017. I have a lot in progress, but this sucker is actually done:

"In The Pink" 8x10, oil on stretched canvas (available)

I had to do a piece "inspired by a song" for a group auction. I had a whole other piece in the works, but I was forcing it. Then, the son "Dear Jessie" by Madonna just popped into my head (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EGYmN-1UQzI) I knew I had to switch tracks, because I felt a lot more inspired about pink elephants than I did about my other piece.

So, I worked furiously on this one, and got it turned around quickly. Lots of work, for what seems like a simply piece. But, you know... pink elephants. Totally worth it.

Hope you are all having a good week! Is it Wednesday? Wow, already?!

Come on 2017! (Part One: The Downer)

2016 has been hard, don't you think? I don't know anyone that thinks it was a good year. Yet, I had some good things happen in 2016, big things, things that one would think would qualify it as a great year! But they don't.

I was thinking about this whole 2016-perspective-thing last night as a small spat broke out between my kids. We had been sitting outside on our porch, chatting around a little fire-table we got for Christmas (it doesn't put out much heat, so it was a little chilly, but it's neat to have one!) The conversation had been good, everything was pleasant... and then suddenly it wasn't. The evening ended on a sour note, and everyone left. When something like that happens, do you still feel like you had a good evening, or does the sour note sort of ruin all the good that came before and make you feel like you shouldn't have bothered in the first place?

My husband is the type of person who thinks that a great evening cannot be ruined by a bad ending. He immediately said it was a great evening with good conversation, and not to let the ending ruin it. My perspective is that if the evening ends with everyone feeling bad, it wasn't a good evening even if it started out well. That doesn't mean I won't try again, just that this time we missed the mark. I can see the good, but it's more of a lesson about how to maybe get it right next time (because ending bad is just bad, period. It was a bad evening.)

My husband finds my perspective disappointing because I'm not all chipper about how it went well until it went into the ditch and ended up with everyone mad at each other. I find his perspective frustrating because how on earth can you expect me to be all positive about the evening ending in a ditch?

I think we both have valid points, and likely neither one of us is right or wrong. Put them together, that's probably the most healthy viewpoint one can have. The good parts are worth building on, the bad are worth noting and maybe changing things for. I'm trying, hard, to find a way to adopt a hybrid view in general. Not only with last night, but also with 2016. Because to be honest, 2016 has pretty much just flat out ticked me off.

On the positive;

• We finally got furniture and sorta settled into the house, including finally getting my studio organized and stocked.
• We went to Paris, something I have wanted to do since I was a little girl!
• My daughter graduated High School and started college.
• My son passed his exam and got his driving learning permit, turned 16, and now *gasp* has his first girlfriend. (side note: both positives about my kids have also been hard for me, too.)
• I made a new friend, a real not just an acquaintance friend.

On the negative;

• I have struggled a great deal with depression. It got in the way of my art and other goals, and I guess I "let it" although I look back and I can see that I did try. Failed, but I didn't give up entirely either. I'm not going to share more on that.
• I don't think I like North Carolina, and now I'm going to be stuck here for a good many years.
• Trump. I don't care what your political leanings are, this is my opinion. I normally wouldn't mention political topics on here, but this is unbelievably far-reaching and has had a major impact and will continue to do so.
• I gained a significant amount of weight. 
• Health-scares galore in my family, especially with the kids. Add medical bills to this one, too.

Actually, I'm going to stop there. That's enough. Without going into further detail, 2016 has been miserable for me for 90% of it. Whether it's my fault or completely out of my control, it hasn't felt like a good year.

This is the last painting of mine for 2016. "Wilted" (sold) 6x6 inches, oil on loose canvas. 

This last painting, I did it as an assignment for Thrice Fiction Magazine. It's not really illustrative, it's just what sort of popped into my head. The more I have looked at it this past week, the more I realize that this is pretty much my 2016. How I felt, and maybe still feel. 

So, OK. I can say it. For me, regardless of the good things that happened, 2016 sucked. 

But you know what? Even so, I have a choice. You either have move forward and try to do better, or decide that 2017 is going to suck too. Even with my negative viewpoints, I'm not willing to just toss the towel in on 2017 and give it up. It's MY year, it's not even here yet, and I want to do better.

So, I'm working on goals. I'm working on things that are under my control, at least from my perspective at the moment (who knows what will happen) and setting goals for improvement and accomplishment. Not New Year's Resolutions, because those always seemed a bit silly to me. No, just personal goals that I can make mistakes on but keep on trying without having to say I failed at nailing them perfectly (which is how I view resolutions. They have always seemed like all or nothing.) 

I want to be better, do better in 2017. I need to, especially as it feels a lot like we're going to head into the year with the world falling apart and it's unlikely to get better. If the world is a mess, it's important to pull back and strengthen your base, your core, your safe space and self.

(part two, tomorrow with my goals)

I Want Cookies

Well, I think I want cookies. Actually, that's not what I really want. I want to feel like it's the holidays. That usually involves cookies, ergo I want cookies.

I just cannot get a handle on the southern weather patterns not having SNOW in December. I grew up in Colorado, and you would get snow off and on from about September. The only issue with that was that Colorado was the definition of bipolar when it came to the weather.

I know, I know, everyone thinks they live in a state with changing weather. I moved to Chicago, Maryland, New York, Vermont, and even here in North Carolina. They ALL say the same thing with this laugh like you'll never have heard this before; "Don't like the weather? Wait five minutes and it'll be different! HA!" Yeah. You don't even have a clue about mercurial weather.

In Colorado I went to a job interview and it was 93 degrees. I was trying not to sweat all over my interview outfit, and I was a bit mortified by the whole experience (because I totally sweat all over myself. Between 93 degree weather and nerves, I was totally out of luck at that point.) The next day it snowed over eight (*8*!!!) inches. A 60+ degree weather drop in less than 24 hours, and that was normal.

But SNOW!!! SNOW, people! Colorado was hit and miss with a wintry Christmas, but December still had some snowstorms in it. Vermont used to be just awesome with the seasons, and it was mild and lovely and almost always had snow for the holidays. Even if you didn't, your windows were pretty much shut from October on because it was chilly, and that was an excellent start.

Folks, I am sitting in my studio right now, in December, with my windows open. Now, it's a good thing I can have my windows open because I just varnished seven paintings and I'm pretty sure I saw a unicorn go walking by a minute ago, but my point is... my windows are OPEN.

Where's my cold weather? Where's my keeping warm by the fire and baking cookies on the first snow? How do people get in the holiday spirit without snow when they have always had it?

Last year, I was still all discombobulated from the move so I just chalked up my meh holiday feelings to that. This year, I'm settled, and it feels like October to me. It feels like we're just about to start putting out the Halloween stuff, when instead my house is all decked out for Christmas.

And it IS all decked out! I even went the extra step of flocking things, so I could pretend to have snow. Probably more things than I should have. You see, I did my research on the stuff, and it turns out a 5lbs bag of flocking costs the same as a 25lbs bag, so I got the biggie. I went on a bit of a flocking binge.

The upside is that I ended up saving a lot of things that were headed for the garbage:

These three trees are about 12 years old, and used to light up but don't really anymore. They also looked really awful and kind of bald. But with flocking, TA-DA! I really like them again. (I know, I need to sweep the floor... I'll get to it!)

And this sucker is another 4' tree that was at least 10 years old, and trying hard to be a stick. It was positively anemic.  I actually don't know if it'll make it past this season as it's a lot of branches and separate parts, not like the new trees in just two parts. I'm not sure how to store it all flocked like that.

I did a slew of little 2' trees that were destined to be donated or trashed too, and they came out rather well. My daughter took one to college with her. I was the cool mom for a second there.

I also flocked some new, cheap garland. This year, I picked up a very snowy (flocked) tree from the store for our foyer (I've never had a foyer before, so I'm still trying to figure out what you do with one.) The normal green garland just looked weird with it, so I needed to flock it to match. It came out pretty good, in my opinion:

We ran that garland all over the railings on the steps.  I'd show you a picture of the foyer all decked out, but the more I look at the picture, the dorkier it looks. It looks much better in person. Maybe it's something you just have to be here to appreciate? Anyway, it's very "snowy" inside. I really am trying, here.

Getting our family tree up helped a bit too. All the crazy ornaments that mean something. Bubble lights (because bubble lights are the best!)

But then. But... then.

meh.

Last night, I promised my son that I would stop work early and we would watch Christmas specials and bake our first batch of cookies! It was going to be great! Right up until I found that someone had run off with our chocolate chips. (My husband swears it wasn't him, but I have my suspicions.) We put on a holiday movie anyway and made brownies instead.

It all should have worked, but my son finally said to me "It just doesn't feel like the holidays. We need snow, or something."

*head*desk* I KNOW! 

So, anyone have any ideas of how to get the holiday spirit a'flowin' even in the face of this gosh-awful-perfectly-sunny-warm weather? I need that switch to flip in my brain! I need my holiday happy! How do you get in the holiday mood?

In other news, my shop is closing on the 10th for my holiday break, and my last shipment goes out the door on the 14th. Even though I've been out of my own planned business loops this year, I've been working a lot in the past few weeks. The post office people are starting to recognize me and contemplate hiding when they see me coming with my stacks of boxes.

In the midst of all the busy-busy-busy going on, I realized that this time of the year is special because it's the only time that I actually get to be "done".

I divide up all my projects into "Can complete by the deadline" and "Next year!" and once I get through my complete list, I am OFF! Good or bad, I'm done for the year. I've accomplished whatever I could, and it's done. A real feeling of turning off the light, so to speak, and headed home instead of always being on pause.

I really, really look forward to this. It's not that I don't love painting and my business. I DO! But sometimes, well once a year, it's really nice to feel like I have done my best and gotten to drive home from the office to stay home for a spell.

It's coming! Maybe my holiday spirit will pop in on the 14th? I'm looking into what people do around here for holiday stuff and I haven't found much.

I did, however, discover they do holiday home tours. It's totally a thing here. As in, people deck out their houses with holiday stuff and sell tickets. I kid you not. I admit, I'm mildly curious... Can you imagine, though? Having people traipse through your house like that?

Anyway... I should probably be painting, so off I go!

Back to the Art-side

A long absence has certainly given me a lot to share, both personally and art-wise! I'm going to go a bit lighter today.

As it's December, I thought I would share my official 2016 Holiday painting (this is a different painting that I create each year with the intent to release as a holiday card for myself and others to order, etc.) I got my neighbor's daughter to be my model, and I actually think it turned out rather well:

"Sequor" (original is sold, prints and LE canvas prints available)
11x14 Oil on Canvas Panel

I was happy I completed this painting this year, as I sort of failed that goal last year what with only moving into the house in October and not being settled at all. This year, my studio is set-up very nicely. In fact, I recently was able to attend Art of the Carolinas for the first time ever! I didn't participate in any workshops, but the art supply trade show is a DREAM.

I was able to get my hands on all sorts of things at a huge discount. One of the people there told me that many artists save up all year and then do all their buying at the show. I can see why, and I'll likely start doing that myself. 

I was able to purchase HUGE canvas panels for the first time ever. I always had to order stuff in Vermont and the shipping was often the same or more than the panel, and the panel was pricey too so I never went for a big one! At the show I was able to get canvases over 60 inches for less than $60. If you know your canvas, you know that's a big savings! I was giddy at the trade show! I even got a new easel. It's an art supply wonderland for me!

My poor husband endured it pretty well. I figure it's payback for all that time spent in fishing stores, or in the home improvement stores when he's "just browsing" and I get to the point where I'm eyeing the stacks of plywood and thinking "I could nap on that, right? No one would notice..."

I was also able to paw through wood panels. I have started painting on these now and again. I'm kind of on the fence with them. The ones I had were plate-smooth and this actually made it hard to paint on. I felt like the paint was slipping off, and this surprised me because I often feel like I'm fighting the tooth of normal canvases. Still, I got this one to turn out when others had failed me (or I failed them):

"Sunset" 5x7x1" oil on cradled wooden panel, available

I found some gessoed panels at the show that actually had some texture to them, and I'm going to try them and see how they work. I like the idea of painting on wood, but I have a lot of canvas to use up if that's the way I go. I also, a few months ago, found gesso (Prima) that reduces the tooth without sanding and this was a huge find for me.

Let's see. More art that has happened, and has started me really thinking about my studio and my direction:

I painted "Dawn" on a black ground, and this was a new experience for me. One that I really liked, and intend to explore more. It took me longer than necessary because I was new to it, but here is a time-lapse I shot on my phone of the painting:

This is one of the paintings that has got me thinking about my studio and "voice" which I'll touch on in another post. Until then, here is more art from this year that I haven't shared:

I just finished "Ringmaster" on 12/1. I had to turn him around in about 24 hours. I'm pleased with how he turned out! He's another little one: 5x7" oil on canvas panel.

Envy, oil on 6x6 canvas panel (available)

I have been playing with abstracts again:

"Stardust" is a large piece at 24x36x1.5, acrylic/silver leafing/gems on stretched canvas (available)

"Lark" is 9x12, acrylic/gold leafing on stretched canvas (framed, 14x17, available)

Didn't name this one, but same dimensions and info except I used silver leafing (sold)

I've completed other paintings, but that's probably enough for now. And honestly, I haven't been creating a lot this year. I know I originally had this huge plan, but I will say that I failed that. I've been thinking a lot about why, but that is for yet another day!

Hello?

Every time I see "Hello" I hear Adele's song. Does anyone else have that problem? I blame my daughter for that, playing it incessantly this year while she was here and every time she visits.

I have to say, I don't know why photos from earlier posts are vanishing? I'm not going to go back and re-add them, it's just too much work. Maybe they'll show up again eventually?

You may have noticed that I disappeared for a while. I even deleted my blog there for a bit. Fortunately, blogger hangs onto it for a period of time so you can change your mind. I did, but then I still didn't post.

So much has been going on, and so little at the same time. I'm not sure if I did any clearing of my blog before I deleted it or not, so I'm not sure if I posted about life changes. As I have a draft in my folder, but it doesn't look like it was posted, I'll just assume I never said anything at all from May onward. 

I have a lot to say (and art to share), so this is going to take a few posts over the next week or two. Some might not seem art-related, but my life affects my art, so it really is!

There were big changes in my world, because my daughter graduated from High School and went off to college:

My daughter, on Graduation Day from High School

My daughter, in a painting I did of her this year. 9x12 inches, oil on stretched canvas.
(This one, I didn't sell. I have it on my wall.)

I now have an 18-year-old daughter, in college. An adult. This is a very strange marker to cross. I'm having a lot of thoughts, still, along the lines of "How did I get here?!" 

My youngest just turned 16 about a week ago. I have so little time left with "kids", and an unknown stretch in front of me with "adult children".  Also, my daughter felt it was a good time to mention that I could be a grandma in a few years. So, SO not helpful. I mean, I'll be a good grandma I think, but in my head I'm somewhere between 16-22 years old. I know I'm 41 logically... but I'm not on the inside. 

Facing this family phase of my life being over is proving unbelievably difficult for me. I suddenly understand why some people start over with more kids. Technically, I started my family at 23, so it wasn't that early. Yet, my peers/friends, people my age are actually just starting their families NOW. 

I know of very few friends who are in my position, and I know of so many who had a baby this year or a year or two past. Their houses are filled with that young laughter and energy. Mine has become remarkably changed. I noticed it when we had a neighborhood gathering here and I realized my house isn't kid-safe and it's boring for children. No more toys in any rooms or on floors (upside; no Lego's to step on at 2AM and almost die, so silver lining! Wait, is that why they call it a "silver" lining?)

I have a grown-up house now. Yikes!

We moved from Vermont to this house in North Carolina (over that long and horrible process) and we've only been here just over a year. When we moved, we purged a lot of old things. Old furniture (that it was safe to spill stuff on because after 14 years we weren't even sure WHAT color the couches were anymore), scratched and broken tables, toys that hadn't been played with in years, and so on. We got to buy new furniture here and we picked out stuff that went with the new house and our lives now. But it's grown-up stuff, most especially because the interior of the house is different... colder. It's not that we don't like it, but it's just, well, very adult-like instead of family-kids-like.

Having a child become an adult and seeing this phase of my life coming to a close is a difficult thing to face. Life really IS short. It seems so long when you're young, but it's not. 

Oh, and we're definitely not starting over with more kids. I can barely handle my husband's snoring ruining my sleep, I cannot even fathom getting up with a baby! Not NOW! I don't know how my peers are doing it. *yawn* My husband and I are both firm on that point, but I'm so sad about this part being over too. It's good my kids are successfully flying the nest, but it's heartbreaking too. 

I'm wondering what this means for me going forward. Finding my new normal. I'm not sure what that is, exactly. This is especially true when it comes to my studio and art. But, more on that later...

Let It Fly

My husband left for business (Paris, France... then Bangalore, India.) Fortunately, he's currently on a plane back, and we (the teenagers and I) have successfully survived another few weeks on our own. It's gotten easier since we spent 10 months on our own in Vermont. It used to be that even a short business trip threw everything out of whack, but I guess we've sort of gotten over that given how long we were on our own.

Still. It was a hard couple of weeks for me anyway. His trip coincided with my Bermuda triangle of doctors appointments that all happened to fall within the same week. It wasn't supposed to be like that, but that's what happened. Moving out here, it's been tough "establishing care" because you have to wait forever to get in to see a doctor if you're new. Once they know you, it's like you have the secret password and they're allowed to talk to you and schedule you... BUT NOT BEFORE! We can't just schedule people! It would be chaos, woman! CHAOS!

Anyway, among those appointments I was informed that I was over 40 (you don't say) and that, lucky me, I get to go have my first mammogram! I went home and called one of the numbers on the sheet they gave me for the places that do them, and my plan was to make my appointment right away because I was being responsible. I was very proud of myself. Right up until the woman on the phone said "We could see you right now," and I actually blurted out like a whiny six-year-old "But... I don't wanna go right now!"

She laughed at me. I laughed too, but I was also completely serious. I agreed to go the next day though. That whole being responsible-thing, and all. I have to say, I got it done and endured it, but... is it possible our ta-tas (and I just looked up alternate words for them here - that was quite an adventure, I think sweater-stretchers was my favorite) well, that maybe they don't re-inflate all the way after something traumatic like that? I swear I have more room in my bra than I did before I went in. Would that work on my derrière? I'd happily submit, in that case.

The day after that, I went to the eye doctor at Target and got a prescription for new reading glasses for when I'm painting, and an education about drive-through medicine in a big box store. I can't decide how I feel about it. They had all the machines. Everyone was nice enough. It was just super fast, very uncomfortable to be in a super-bright room while my eyes dilated, and it just felt... cheap. I'm sure everything was just as precise as anywhere else, but it still felt that way. I was also told my distance vision in my left eye is starting to kick off too, but I was able to hold off getting actual glasses to wear all the time just yet. I might not have long, but I was able to squeak by this time!

Getting older bites.

On the weight front, I was doing great with my workouts and pretty decent with my food... and my number wasn't moving down at all. Very frustrating. It started moving again today, but that's always a frustrating thing and it just piled on to the whole "I'm not enjoying this" time I was having.

In the midst of that, I found out that prom is a deadly serious event down here in the south. Even though prom is in April, apparently everyone pretty much has their gowns already (and they're wicked expensive here, too!) So, my daughter and I went dress shopping. I tried on one myself, but it felt like either an "older/mature gown" or I don't know. Just... "off"

This thing was really complicated too. It has a slit that goes up to the waist that you can kind of see on the side there? Underneath, is a really complex lacy beaded secondary sheath. Also, it cost more than my first car. I was careful to hang it back up very gently. We had wandered into Saks Fifth Avenue, and had never been there before. Who pays $150 for a pair of underwear?! Who are these people?!

We eventually made it through some crazy prom shops where I think the moms were all ex-pageant contestants vicariously living through their daughters (it was very unsettling) and found David's Bridal. They didn't have a huge selection, but they had "the one" my daughter wanted, and I wasn't going to have to sell her brother in order for her to have it.

I can't believe she's going to be 18 in June. Sigh. Also, I wish they had prom dresses like these when I had prom! 1992 and 1993 was not good fashion years. At all.
I hope those photos never see the light of day.

On the work front, I just felt frustrated all the time. ALL the time. I'm trying hard to get these Alice in Wonderland commissions done, because I really need to move on. They're important, so I'm going to do them right, but I feel like I am fighting myself every step of the way. It feels like that scene in the Neverending Story where the kid is slogging through the swamp and can barely go on. It's so ridiculous at this point, I'm annoyed with myself.

Which doesn't help, just in case you were wondering.

I'm still trying to sketch out the whole Queen Alice piece. She's big, and complicated at 18x24 inches. There are a lot of elements the client needs, and I'm trying to fit them in so they all flow nicely.

Queen Alice. That's the Jabberwocky behind her, all dragonish.

One of those elements is the Mad Hatter, which is an 8x10 commission for the same client. But I needed to sketch him out on his portrait so I knew who I was adding to the big one. He's finally done, and ready for paint:

He'll look less old, hopefully, when I paint him in. I needed shadow and line markers, and they always make a person look old on an outline sketch.

And now I can add him, and the white rabbit, and the Cheshire cat... and we'll see what else is needed. It really is like trying to figure out a jigsaw puzzle at this point. I'll get there. Eventually.

I was so frustrated, that I decided to blow off steam, art-style. I started out professionally as an abstract artist... here's an oldie, but popular one from 2003:

They're really quite freeing when you've been working so precisely. So, I just started throwing paint. I started letting it fly, and just putting it where my gut told me too. Very zen of me, I suppose. I got to a stopping point, because it needed to dry, and posted a few pictures on Facebook. This one in particular set of a very unexpected reaction:

People loved it the way it was. Said I should stop. Sell it like this.

Like this?

I've done abstract, I started in abstract... but even I never went this abstract. I stepped away from it. I added a tree with just a knife to another smaller one, while I was thinking about it:

And landed a fast commission for a matching tree, and a big moon in the middle. (still working on that one.)

And still, people carried on. Liking the plain, abstract purple piece. Encouraging me to do more. Messaging me, and backing that up with inquiries.

I have to admit, I'm a bit floored. I had never considered really working that abstractly. Not to mention, I had absolutely no direction, no purpose in mind. I was blowing off steam, letting it fly... and people liked the result.

I've done a bit of thinking about all of that, and I've decided to keep with my original plan of my three series (Nyx, Elephants, and 12 Dancing Princesses), but that I am also going to do a 5 piece Element Series and put it out there to test the waters. I feel conflicted and surprised on several levels, and I imagine it'll take a bit more thinking on my part, as well as whatever happens with the series, to come to some sort of peaceful resolution... but perhaps, just maybe, a new door is opening to me that I never expected. I'd be a fool not to walk through it just to see what's on the other side.

I'm just going to let it fly, and see what happens! Perhaps that is an attitude I should start taking with different areas of my life as well. I've lived with such fear and worry and feelings of inadequacy... what good has that ever done me? I can always crawl back into my cave if it all goes wrong. Right?

So, here's to letting it fly!

Buy-Bye January!

It's almost February. I cannot believe that 2016 is already flying by at light speed (although, when trying to lose weight, the time seems much slower. It's only everything else that seems to be whipping by!)

My goal was five paintings for the month of January. Unfortunately, January nailed me with another nasty cold and a lot of time off for the teens from school, which just fed into my frustration in the studio. I only managed 3 paintings for this month. I'm really going to need to pull out all the stops and catch up if I'm going to be back on schedule! 

I finished this Rocking Horse Fly:

6x6 inches, acrylic on stretched canvas, sold

This oil painting:

"Love is Blind" 9x12 oil on stretched canvas, Sold

...and this small oil painting also:

"Love Child" 6x8, oil on canvas panel, available

The rocking horse fly is a part of my Alice in Wonderland series, and part of a line of commissions I'm working my way through. I'm actually sketching out the largest of them (18x24), Queen Alice, right now:

She (Queen Alice) was supposed to have been completed on January 23rd according to my schedule. *sigh* I'm so far behind. If I can just get in a groove though, I might just be able to catch up.

However, you see that blindfolded girl painting? Well, I was doing some research on the rococo technique, and that was my first experiment. I can't say it's a successful one, because I had to give up on the technique and just rush to finish it because I ran out of time for my deadline. Still, even so, the result is fairly pleasing. I'm a bit unsure about how "warm" it is, but at the same time it has that old-timey feel to it, and I think I want to use that in my Fairy Tale series that I ALSO didn't get started this month but was supposed to have finished one 9x12 of. (*head*desk*head*desk*)

The rococo technique is fairly involved, though. Lots of layers (i.e. drying time) and such. That's made me think about my schedule of about 60 paintings and whether I'm biting off more than I can chew. I'm going to try to move forward and see what I think, but I feel like I can't make a real decision about it until I get the Alice in Wonderland series closed out completely. It's a different medium (Alice is all acrylic) than I want to go forward in right now, and it's also a different style. I feel that I'm evolving, and I'm actually having to almost physically hold myself back in order to finish these paintings properly. 

With that in mind, Alice has become my #1 priority so I can finally move forward and not mess her up as I do. I worry about jumping between my old style and new, and I don't want it to mess things up on either end.

We did get some snow down here in NC. I felt a bit conflicted, as it finally looked like winter but it had ice which made playing in it rather pointless. Still, it was white for a little while (and now we're headed back to the 60's for temperatures which feels very wrong.) The schools and everyone shut down in a panic for several days longer than I would have expected.

So, here is my "first storm expected in NC" report: people really are nuts when it comes to winter weather. (You should know it was 43 degrees and sunny out when I took these pictures below the day before the storm.)

I went to the grocery store the day before because I needed a few things. There weren't too many people in the store, but this is what was left at 3:20pm. I checked out easily, but getting OUT of the doors of the store was hard because people were just streaming into the store. Some people had parked in the fire lane to run in and ask a manager standing in front if they had milk. I heard the "no" and the woman I was eavesdropping on as I was trying to leave turned on her heel and bolted out the door to her waiting car and said to her companion "no, they don't have any either!"

The lady at the checkout said she had people buying 5 gallons at a go. She said "you know, if you have kids, maybe it makes sense... But a lot of these people don't. I asked."

I did bake cookies though. Bad for my weight loss efforts, good for my peace of mind. Kinda. (Double chocolate-chocolate-chip.)

Anyway, I'm speeding ahead and trying to catch up as we head into February! I hope you have all had a good January!