Going Back Home

When last I popped in, it was June in North Carolina. It was hot, humid, and just icky. I have to say it's a wonderful relief to sit here and tell you that there is a cool, crisp breeze outside and it'll be getting down to the low 40's tonight. If we were in NC still, that kind of weather would cause an all out panic (which makes me giggle a little, I admit.)

We have relocated back to Vermont!

This has been a very interesting experience, going back. When I left, I was angry. I felt like I had been driven out with the cost of living, solar panels going up all around us (a neighbor had a huge field of them go up on two sides of her property, and there wasn't a thing she or the town could do about it.) I was upset about the cost of college for my kids, and the thought that there was nothing they'd be able to do for work here. When given a second chance to rethink our relocation to NC at the last minute, we wavered, but in the end we decided it was the right thing to do to leave VT. I was convinced I was never going back.

I think a lot of my anger stemmed from the fact that when we first moved here, we thought that was it! Vermont was where we would retire, and everything would be wonderful! It wasn't - there were some negative/strange interactions that I let affect me, lots of hitches and snags (although, surmountable, had I tried harder), and in the end I think I just felt betrayed that I had to leave for my kids' future, when I thought I would be staying forever.

Life's lessons come in some funny forms. This one for me was a pretty big lesson. North Carolina was the biggest mistake we ever made. I won't go into the why's and what happened, because most of it is intensely personal. I think it's enough to say that it was life changing, and perspective altering. Your priorities shift on some major levels when things get really, really bad.

The opportunity came up for us to move back, and we realized how much we actually wanted to. On some level, I was aware that it was likely we were yearning for the life we had before some truly horrible things happened to us... and that's delusional, because you don't get to go backwards. I look back now, and realize that we really did love the land and we should have tried to find other solutions. Some things have also shifted and it turns out that what my children want to do IS supported here; there is a real path forward. Some things haven't shifted, but we have solutions now. Being aware of all of that, we were able to make the decision in a balanced way, and we chose to go home. 

I thought I would have to eat a lot of crow, having left in such a huff. But do you know, the only person who snapped back at me is someone who isn't even from Vermont at all? Instead, the people here welcomed me back with warmth and caring - leaving me practically tearful with gratitude. We were lucky enough to move back to our same town, which wasn't something we even tried to do (in VT, that's pretty tricky because the housing market is not such that you pick the town you want to live in, but rather that you look for a house that will work and THEN discover what town you will be living in.) That means the community we left is still mostly here, and that has been a huge blessing.

We have gone from a shiny "perfect" house in NC, to a house that needs a LOT of work - the kitchen is from the 1980's and my son cracked me up when he confessed to being afraid to use the oven because it's all dials and the only way to tell the temperature is an actual gauge you set inside on the rack (yeah, the kitchen is on our renovate list first, right after replacing the 25 year old boiler that's making really scary sounds right now!) But a big, shiny, perfect house doesn't mean anything if it doesn't feel like home. When I got here, I felt like I could breath after three years of holding my breath. I never relaxed in NC, but I did here, even in the midst of a crazy move.

My new backyard is about 100 acres, and this is the view from my new studio (it has a little balcony) and this is my husband (just celebrated our 23rd anniversary!) who is also thrilled beyond belief to be back

I wake up every morning and there are deer, and often a "rafter" of turkeys (no idea why they don't just call it a flock.) I have squirrels, and birds, and breezes that flow through my OPEN windows, and cool crisp air that smells of honey and clover. I have quiet, and butterflies, and I have peace. It took a bad turn to realize we really did need to be back, and it has been a lot of work - will continue to be a lot of work on multiple levels, but I really feel like we're on the right path for the first time in a long time.

sunset, in our backyard a week ago

I also have two new fluffy members of the family! We just adopted them a few days ago and are in the process of slowly introducing them to the other animals in the house. Meet Merlin:

and Stratus:

They're total snuggle-bugs, small kittens (especially compared to Socrates who is about 10 times their size) and they also like watching Disney movies.

Merlin and Stratus, snuggled up with me

Side note: I found a bathrobe covered in shiny silver stars!

I think I only have two new paintings to share, even though so much time has passed since I last wrote. The first is a painting that is currently on the Liberty Orchard's Halloween box!

"Halloween Kittens" 9x12 inches, acrylic on canvas, sold

The ad from Liberty Orchards

The next painting is the second in my Favorite Things series:

"Georgette" 6x8 inches, acrylic on canvas, available 

I have my kitchen unpacked, and my studio completely unpacked. That's it. The rest of the house is in complete disarray. I'll get there with the rest of the house, but I am ready to start painting again.

I tried working on an in-progress piece - but I feel out of sync. So, I think like after not exercising for a while, I need to warm up and do some smaller, faster work to get back into my groove. I'm going to try to do daily paintings again, at least for a little while, to break in my new studio area! Hopefully, I'll have a lot more to share, and check in more often!

Things may still be hard right now, but there is light. There is positivity. I didn't expect any of these turns, and I'm as surprised as anyone else that this is where I sit tonight... but I'm oh, so glad that this is where I am. Home.

Scary Movies and Queens!

This week I have less art and more life to share, I think, as far as the visuals go. Here is my weekly shot from my back deck for autumn. Actually, I think I'll just continue to do this until we move. I'll have no view at all of anything in North Carolina. I asked what a view is there, and it's either a "city" view (when you live in the city and high up like in an apartment building), or trees. That's right, if you have trees smack up against your windows and can't see your neighbors, that's the best you can do for a view. Well, at least where I am moving. I imagine there are some amazing places on the beach and up in the mountains, but that's not where I'll be living.

A bit chilly and dark this morning... but pretty colors!

My son completely bailed on the Inktober challenge, and my daughter, despite saying she was going to pick it up, didn't. I just sorta let it go after that. So, my Inktober challenge was very, very short lived.

This is fine though, because I shifted my focus to my Queen of Hearts. I tried painting like normal, but the truth was... I was having trouble seeing. Darnit. I finally gave in and got my glasses. I just HAVE to wear them now while painting, even when I'm not doing close-up work. As a matter of fact, I need to go buy super-magnifying reading glasses for the close-up and tiny stuff. I'm NOT happy. I feel like a librarian when I wear them (no offense to any librarians, but I got yelled at by a lot of them growing up because I checked out too many books for their liking and they didn't believe I was reading that many every week! Speaking of which, I just finished the Maze Runner trilogy. I then proceeded to download a ton of romances to my kindle because I need non-apocalyptic brain-candy for a while or I'll go insane!)

I even snapped this photo, proving that I gave in to my glasses.
Getting old stinks.

When last you saw my Queen painting, she looked like this:

And then I actually made quite a bit of progress! I started painting away, and finished with her at this point on Friday:

I'll add flowers to the garden behind her very last to balance out the colors overall. It'll be pretty!

A close up of the queen and the pink flamingo on her shoulder:

So, the first thing I have to say is how sinister flamingos can look. I went through all sorts of reference photos and I have to be honest here; flamingos kinda freak me out. I actually dialed back the rather sinister feel from the real pictures to make it a little less scary, and they're still quite the intense minions for the queen.

The second thing is, yes, I am making the lower flamingo blue. Well, to be precise, it's a mixture from purple to teal. Both flamingos have iridescent paint that make their feathers light up, and while that's pretty on the pink one, it's amazing on the blue because it brings to mind a peacock. Which makes me want to paint a peacock. I know I have painted a few (like Flight) but it makes me want to do an even bigger one!

Anyway, the queen's dress is done except for her sleeves which will be a sheer white once I paint her hands (unless I go back and embellish her dress a bit more with some gold here and there. I haven't decided yet... there's something to be said about gussying her up a bit over the top. On the other hand, she's pretty severe and intense as she is, and I don't want to distract from that either. I don't think she needs extra stuff to make her point, so to speak?)

Now, one of the things I have spoken about before is how I don't actually like the genre of horror films. Because. You know. They're SCARY. Yet, if I put one on (that has a plot line - violence with no plot and point are a complete waste of space in my opinion) and I work, I make amazing progress. My reasoning is that I don't want to be too drawn into the scary movie, so instead of putting my hands over my face to peek through my fingers, I paint, and occasionally peek at the screen instead. Given that there is rarely a time I want to focus on the screen, I end up pretty intent on my painting and make great progress!

Well, I was playing the movie Silent Hill (I can't replay any horror movies I have seen before, because they're not exactly movies I want to relive - so if you have suggestions for movies please tell me) because it happened to be on cable. Monsters. Scary things. And this is what I saw when I looked over to my right, on my bed (I'm painting in my bedroom, I'm so desperate for a big enough studio!):

Socrates, yawning because the horror movie bored him.

The horror genre has nothing on my cat, I'm telling you. Look at those teeth! Good thing he never bites, or I'd lose an appendage! My daughter's sleep mask to the side of him makes me giggle though.

Actually, Socrates has been quite the character this past week. He set up a toll-booth one morning and wouldn't let anyone pass without paying the toll:

"What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

My son paying the toll before school. No exceptions!

Over the weekend we worked on house projects. One of them involved a forklift and I couldn't help with it, so I made pumpkin spice lattes and my daughter and I sat on the deck and watched. It's better than reality TV!

I'm looking forward to a nice week, with the hope that I might get close to finishing the Queen... we'll see. It may be another week after that yet, but I suppose it depends on how many horror movies I can catch! Good thing it's close to Halloween, then, right? Have a great week!