I've taken a lot of time off from my art business. Sure, I've done a bit here and there, but in truth I haven't been pouring myself into it. I have to be honest; I think I've been spinning in my own circle. I'd say I was chasing my own tail, but that would mean I was chasing something and that isn't true. Instead, what I've been doing is a lot of internal arguing with myself.
I have an art business. I have a photography business. I have opportunities to write (in addition to freelance, I've had the "I could write a book about this... or that... I should write a book" going on in my head for years.) I could do any of these things. I could be successful (most likely) at any of those things, with the right amount of effort and planning and dedication. Persistence.
But I cannot be successful at all of them. I'm not even sure I could be successful at more than one at the same time, much less three. The reality is that I have a lot of opportunity in front of me, many choices. Sometimes choices are freeing, and exciting, and sometimes they're just too much. I made my career opportunities into too much to think about, and an overwhelming experience. Again, a choice - my own, but one I let bog me down out of fear.
It's taken a lot of talking with myself and others to start to figure this out. I'm not there all the way yet, either. What I do know is that it's time I face my fear and start doing something, rather than sitting and doing nothing with a whole lot of excuses. I've had people tell me their version of what is successful, or what they think must happen, and let that be my only vision of what could be - which I subsequently ran from because it wasn't who I am. However, I know very well that it doesn't have to be that way. In both art and business, there is ample room for creativity and success via new channels. One person's vision does not have to be someone else's. There is no road, only the path you make for yourself.
This whole art business is going to change. I have figured out that if I were suddenly wildly successful, bringing in money at any of the three choices I have, I would be most satisfied with my art because it's about more than selling something. Art is who I am, and I'm finally preparing myself to move forward. My time away was not a loss, as I have a much better understanding of who I want to be, and what I want my business to become without losing sight of who I am.
I'm letting some things go, embracing others, and preparing to take the risk. Big changes are ahead, and they're going to take a lot of work. I know deep down I can, and will make them happen.
Here goes something...