Back To Your Roots

Today, I'm in my PJ's sitting in my studio contemplating the coffee I haven't brewed and am supposed to give up... but I'm totally going to finish out the coffee I have in the house before I give it up. Seems like a fiscally responsible thing to do, right? It's not like I have someone to donate it to, it would be a waste otherwise... *ahem*

I have two paintings to share for my online art collective's auction that opens up on Friday on Facebook. The theme is "Seasons". I had all sorts of ideas for this one, because I feel that something like seasons is right in my wheelhouse. I sketched out a bunch of ideas... honestly, I ended up having too many ideas, rather than too few, and it actually messed me up. I had this elaborate one with three elephants and on the head of each was different seasonal effects (like snow, flowers, etc) - I actually have the elephants mostly painted, but when it came down to it I just wasn't feeling it and I set it aside to be completed later (and perhaps differently.)

Instead, as I was on an owl streak and that's all I wanted to paint lately, I put these two together:

"Lilac" 5x7 inches, acrylic on canvas panel, will be available on Friday

"Mistle" 5x7 inches, acrylic on canvas panel, will be available on Friday

Lilac for Spring, and Mistle for my Winter/Yule season. They actually look better in person, my scanner really pics up variances that you just don't see in reality that make it look a bit choppier. I haven't figured out how to adjust that yet (any pointers from people who know? I use an Epson v39 scanner with it's software for 8x10's and under, everything else I have professional photography equipment but I use the scanner because it seems like too much effort to bust out all the stuff for a little painting! I use Lightroom3 or PSE to adjust if needed, but that's the extent of my photoshopping skills, and I'm probably missing most of the stuff I can do with those programs.)

Anyway, I really like how these owls turned out. I met my deadline by getting them done before the show opens (yay!) and now I am working on an old commission (as in, it's been going on for two years...)

My collector is dedicated and lovely. She's been so understanding, but it has been hard to work on this piece. I think the biggest reason is that I just don't paint like this anymore. My collector loves my Alice in Wonderland series, like this piece from 2012:

"Tea Time"

There is a whole series of paintings, including the cheshire cat, Alice, the Queen of Hearts, etc:

There are lots more, even. Anyway, it's a bigger series, lots in it, and the collector wanted a "Queen Alice". I could already feel my style shifting pretty dramatically, but I felt it would be ok.

Unfortunately, embarrassingly, it has taken me forever to work on. After I finally got it sketched out, it sat for a long time. Life blew up, so that is partly responsible for a lot of the time too. I just didn't paint at all - anything - for months and months. Then, I found I wanted to paint other things and when I tried to work on Queen Alice it would go sideways on me. I just wasn't feeling it. 

Because I am all caught up on my other deadlines, I am trying to work on this commission and I am finally feeling it a lot more. It is really hard to paint in a way you don't anymore. Those of you who have evolved your style, have you tried painting like you once did? I feel like my brain and fingers get confused.

Anyway, here is the work in progress as of this morning - it is messy and has a loooooooong way to go, but I am working on it. I spent Friday only on the stack of books. That should have taken very little time, and instead because I'm all upside down and backwards about this, it took ages!

Queen Alice, Work In Progress

I'm determined though. My poor collector, I cannot believe she has been so patient with me over this. So, this is my focus right now. I MUST get this one done. 

In a lot of ways, it'll be cathartic too. It'll be the final piece that links back to that whole period of my art-life. My art roots (after the abstracts where I really started.) I still do some specific fairytale stuff (and I always will because I love the stories), but it's not my focus anymore. I have new focus, new direction... I just need to do this, and maybe it's really all about closure? Do we need closure on art-periods and phases we go through? Hmm. Well, in either case, it's what I am getting!

Off to paint!

New Directions

It's Tuesday and my youngest (17 yrs) is off taking his first of two finals in high school, so by the end of Thursday I will have a high school senior on my hands (which I am extremely grateful for, because it's been a very difficult year)! One more year and then he'll hopefully be off to college (wants to be a programmer) and I'll be an Empty Nester!

An Empty Nester at 44 (I'm 43 now), and yet I saw on the news that more and more women are choosing to have babies in their 50's. I cannot even imagine doing that, I'm so exhausted now as it is. I remember existing in a fog in my 20's because of baby-duty, but at least I had the energy of being young. I didn't think I actually had energy at the time, but looking back now I can see that I did. Sort of like a zombie shuffling forward on autopilot. (I think if I had kids now, my autopilot would just give up.)

My eldest turned 20 years old this past weekend. She finished up her second year at university in May, and then decided that's enough for now and that her path lies in another direction. For me, this was a bit hard to wrap my brain around. Isn't it funny how you want to give your kids what you didn't have and if it turns out it's not for them it can really set you back several paces? But the truth that every parent has to grasp is that they are not you and they have their own path to follow... you just hope it doesn't end up with them living in your basement until they're 40 (because apparently that is a thing now, too!)

My own direction is shifting quickly. I still cannot share everything, but I'm hoping it'll be very positive for everyone - albeit stressful! My hope is that I can  start to really do some productive things in my studio. I feel left behind because I have been meaning to get a Patreon going for over two years now, among other things, but life has gotten in the way.

However, there have been some positive signs - glimmers of hope - that lead me to believe I can start investing in myself again, and my work. That being said, I have two new series that I have started. One is going to be all larger paintings (16x20" and up... I have some really big canvases, so who knows where this will end up) and the other will be smaller paintings (8x10" and under.) They are unrelated series, but both make my soul sing just enough to know THIS is what I want to be doing right now and I want to be in my studio all the time again.

The big series is in planning stages still. I have the first painting planned out, but not sketched out. I'm excited to work on it, but I have other commissions, shows and various deadlines to meet before I can start in on it. I'm looking forward to sharing it, though!

The smaller painting series is much easier for me to dive into in between projects, and here is the first:

"The Time Keeper" 6x8 inches, acrylic on canvas panel. Available.

The series is "My Favorite Things", and each painting will be 8x10 and smaller, with a subject posing with its most favorite thing! I painted this Great Grey Owl, and my son informed me that this one's favorite thing was most definitely a pocket watch! Once he said it, I knew my son was absolutely spot-on! I've called this painting "The Time Keeper", and he's in a special section of my shop just for this series.

I thought about holding the paintings back and doing a show, but there are reasons why I can't do that right now... that I'll share later. But perhaps the larger series will be one I can do a full physical show with!

My goal is going to be to hopefully paint one of these Favorite Things pieces a week, whenever possible. I'm not sure how many paintings my series will encompass, but I think I'll know when I'm done. As I am just starting, I believe I have a long way in front of me! If you have any particular animal you'd like to see, let me know! I love getting ideas, but I have no idea what their favorite thing will be until I've painted them in... they're all so individual! For example, I've painted multiple raccoons (and I will do at least one for this series) and I have to say I don't think a single one of them would have the same favorite thing.

It's so nice to find the joy in my studio again!

...Off to paint!